i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
