i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
