You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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