Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
