We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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