my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
