4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
