just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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