Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
