We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
