you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
