It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
