last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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