I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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