Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
