I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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