good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
