Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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