Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
