Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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