Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
