Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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