She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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