Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
