upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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