wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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