We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize