im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
