Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
