Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
