she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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