Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
