he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
