i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
