My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
