There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
