I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
