So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
