Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
tell me about the fingering
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
