Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
