We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
