Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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