Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
