i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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