didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
