woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
