Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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