so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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