I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
