I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
