even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
