I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
