having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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