do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm passing your future prison.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
