i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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